So far the
dreams have been optimistic. They do not put me in a depressed hell or in any
suffering mostly. They are positive. They make me feel worthwhile. There are
options but moreover there is confidence. Maybe that is why I generally wake up
feeling good. Yet, it’s not long before I want to go sleep again. The feeling
fades and gives way to despair again.
Yesterday night
I dreamt of feeling the need of a ‘Cerebro’. Yeah the ‘X-Men’ kind - the one in
which one can channelize the power of mind and put it to focus on specifics. Focus
is the key, focus is the problem. There are distractions; distractions all
around. Distractions of comfort, distractions of motivation, distraction of
fear maybe at the top coupled with shaking confidence and inability to see
beyond the consequences; or rather to be able to see positivity in any of the
consequences. I try to hide, run and find myself a way out. I cannot find one.
There is no easy way out. There is only one way – there has to be - because
that is what is meant to be. Escapes cannot give fulfillment. If I seek
completion, satisfaction, the feeling of being one with who I am then I have to
go down that road; the road that i am destined to take. Destiny – but is there
any? Does it not make you who you want to be?
Action –
Consequences – Destiny. Complex circle of things. No mind games. Put the mind
to rest. Put it away. The results and consequences are never in tandem with
desires. And God knows what destiny even means. Things are not in control. Let
go. But do what you can do. Action! Action is yours. No one can take that away
from you. It can’t be the same as everybody else. But it can be the best you
can do in the limited space you have. You do it for yourself. Over and above
anything else. It’s not for others. It’s not for success. It’s not for
greatness. It’s not for livelihood. It’s for you. You do it because you know
somewhere inside that you want to do it. And doing it is the only way. You
can’t see the path ahead but you take a step and find out. Remember the Bhagvad
Gita: “Karm (Action)...not fal (Fruit/Result)”. Resolve to live. Take that step.