The 'perfection' problem

Long back in the 90's there was an Ad which featured Sachin Tendulkar trying to write a letter to a girl he admires. He tries and tries but the right words does not seem to come to his mind leaving a trail of crumpled papers - until he finally gets it and is happy with the outcome.

That's one vague example. Perfection could be anything and can be in everything big or small. However, it's mostly the ability to not settle for less. To do whatever you are doing in the best possible manner. But then that's all good - where's the problem? 

The quest for perfection makes people achieve great things but to some it may create some very basic problems. I will run a race but at least a sub 2 hr half marathon. I will write a book but only when I have the best idea. I will click pictures but only when I am good enough to be a professional. Now, all these have a clear end goal but there is wide gap between right now and where they want to be.

A perfectionist by nature will struggle in these endeavours. Perfection is the end result not the first step. Today's times are focussed on speed not quality. If there's a balance somewhere, that's great but even otherwise it's acceptable. 'Doing' something is a lot more important, even if its mediocre than it being time consuming and not guranteed exceptional. There is a huge rush of doing things and not so much on how you do it.

George RR Martin, is struggling to get his sixth novel out in the song of ice and fire series. The exceptions are high, the popularity is through the roof and there is previous reputation that is on the line. Yet, he can afford to take his time - not a first time writer.

By the time, a perfectionist writer brings in his body of work to his satisfaction - there would be five mediocre novels out by a not so perfectionist writer. One of them may work as well, giving him more leverage and resources to do better next time. And the work of our perfectionist writer may still fail to appeal after years of efforts. He falls back into the shell deeper and deeper.

The problem of perfection is great to have; if it does not hinder the mediocre steps that needs to be taken to reach there. As they say, Rome was not built in a day and it holds true for all things. 

Being a master sculptor like Michelangelo is a noble aspiration but the day to day inspiration should be the woodpecker who keeps at it no matter what. And then maybe, just maybe, one day, there is art that is inspiring and soulful but at the same time flawed and fallible, and so relatable.

Dreams

So far the dreams have been optimistic. They do not put me in a depressed hell or in any suffering mostly. They are positive. They make me feel worthwhile. There are options but moreover there is confidence. Maybe that is why I generally wake up feeling good. Yet, it’s not long before I want to go sleep again. The feeling fades and gives way to despair again.

Yesterday night I dreamt of feeling the need of a ‘Cerebro’. Yeah the ‘X-Men’ kind - the one in which one can channelize the power of mind and put it to focus on specifics. Focus is the key, focus is the problem. There are distractions; distractions all around. Distractions of comfort, distractions of motivation, distraction of fear maybe at the top coupled with shaking confidence and inability to see beyond the consequences; or rather to be able to see positivity in any of the consequences. I try to hide, run and find myself a way out. I cannot find one. There is no easy way out. There is only one way – there has to be - because that is what is meant to be. Escapes cannot give fulfillment. If I seek completion, satisfaction, the feeling of being one with who I am then I have to go down that road; the road that i am destined to take. Destiny – but is there any? Does it not make you who you want to be?

Action – Consequences – Destiny. Complex circle of things. No mind games. Put the mind to rest. Put it away. The results and consequences are never in tandem with desires. And God knows what destiny even means. Things are not in control. Let go. But do what you can do. Action! Action is yours. No one can take that away from you. It can’t be the same as everybody else. But it can be the best you can do in the limited space you have. You do it for yourself. Over and above anything else. It’s not for others. It’s not for success. It’s not for greatness. It’s not for livelihood. It’s for you. You do it because you know somewhere inside that you want to do it. And doing it is the only way. You can’t see the path ahead but you take a step and find out. Remember the Bhagvad Gita: “Karm (Action)...not fal (Fruit/Result)”. Resolve to live. Take that step.

Excellence

Nature has a set routine. The rising and setting of sun, the four seasons, the arrival and retreat of monsoons, the processes of successful organizations/institutions/groups, the basic framework of living a life and what not. To everything most people do is that they try and follow a certain routine and make one if there isn’t one.

A task repeated over and over again for the duration of ‘don’t know since when’ makes one perfect in skilfully doing it. Everything needs practice, everything needs routine. A fit body, a perfected dish, a fluent language OR anything big or trivial for that matter is perfected only by routine. That precisely is also the definition of excellence. You do one thing so many times that you can do it even in your dreams, perfect to the hilt. That’s excellence. Then you are the expert of your domain, the go to person for that one thing that defines you. Aspirational yet far! Desire breeds discipline, discipline breed routine, routine breed process, process breed efficiency and efficiency leads to excellence. Hard work all the way…very.

Excellent but just a tad bit boring, don’t you think? It’s more diligence and less intelligence, isn’t it? The curious mind put to rest a bit, or blinkered upon. For doing the same thing again and again is not everyone’s cup of tea. It’s a safe, known territory but not so much fun. Or is it? Let’s think again.

It’s a lot about the engagement of a potential mind than anything else. Some minds are happy doing the routine – it’s not mundane for them, it’s doing what they know best. Some like freshness coupled with routine, a kind of mix – keep them secure yet giving the taste and thrill of the unknown once in a while. But some just can’t stand the usual. It’s ‘been there done that’ for them. They live for the new experiences, the thrill and what lies ahead. And yet they all have the possibility to attain excellence in whatever they do because excellence is the same.

So, what engages one mind doesn’t engage the other and vice versa. And the engagement of mind is of paramount importance because it’s only the engaged mind that breeds creativity, which in turn keep things from getting boring. Hence the pursuit of excellence can be done for even the tiniest of trivia, such as packing the McDonalds burger in the same most efficient way possible, the problem is only when it doesn’t leave the room for a new better way/material for packing. That’s when routine kills creativity and that’s when everything becomes mundane and human becomes machine. Pack a burger or paint a canvas, cook a dish or create an architectural marvel, sell goods or sing your heart out, heal as a doctor or destroy in a morgue, usual or unusual – the element of engaging the mind in the act must be present. If it’s there, if doing what you do makes you feel good, stimulated and anticipated, you are alive and then excellence if not too far. You just have to repeat it over.

Race of Life

How do you run a race? Well you just start running.

Which direction should you run in? There can be a few options: Road 1 – Nice road, refreshments on the way, crowded, destination more like a ladder. Road 2 – Less travelled with few people, long journey but can be fun depending on what your idea of fun is. Road 3 – What road? There is nothing here; do you want to find something?

Choose one. Barge in. Do your best. 

What if you don’t like it? It’s too tough for you? Don’t quit, quitters end up nowhere. It’s too easy for you, no satisfaction in running? Change my dear, nobody’s stopping you. Your family has gotten used to refreshments? Continue unhappily or involve them in change. It can be rough but that’s what you want, right?

How long will you last? Nobody knows that before running. There are talented runners on a particular road but passion can also be useful; and perseverance.

Will you be able to beat others? Wrong approach! Why do you even want that? Some are running in racing cars, some with crutches. Your race is only with yourself and not with your neighbour.

How will you win then? You go farther than expected. You dig in your reserves. You defy the odds my friend and you destroy the limit you have put on your own reach. Even then, you continue – you go on.

I am afraid of falling; I might just end up a complete failure. Yes, you might. So? You might also be the best ever to do it. There is no Oracle in the real world.

Will success and winning make me happy and failure sad? No! Never! Success has nothing to do with happiness, nor failure with sadness. Happiness is a state of mind. Be happy that you can run, even happier that you can choose the race you want to run, happiest that this is what you want for yourself. Choose freedom, choose happiness. They are choices, not results.

Others are at advantage, I have only one leg. What others? Erase them. One leg! So you have that, no? Use it. Even if you don’t have that too – so what? Stretch, crawl, push with whatever you have. You have what you have. Cribbing won’t take you even an inch farther.

Why run at all? Frankly speaking, no need. But then you are lost. You may choose not to run but you must choose to travel. Set your own pace. It can be slow and steady but you should move. For the paucity of a better word, call it ‘Journey of life’. Ever heard of still water with malaria mosquitos and free flowing river? That’s the difference if you move.

The purpose is yours, the will is yours, the path is yours, the journey is yours, the goods are yours, the falls are yours, the destination is yours, the pain is yours and so is the joy – what you leave for others is just a trail and a story – be it ordinary, be it inspirational.

Why you are in it may be difficult to understand, but while you are at it – make it worth!

Challenge yourself in this race; you may set your own pace

In this race you should embrace, setbacks and challenges you face

But with grace and passionate gaze, you can set the fire ablaze

At the end of road and maze, journey lives beyond time and space!

Time builds the shipwreck

Once upon a time there was this girl. Young and beautiful, short in height. And she loved this boy to the core. The boy meant everything for her. It was a love, youthful and teenage. The dedication was complete, the feeling intense, the possibility of togetherness giving hope bigger than hope. Her parents knew nothing, for surely they wouldn’t want to know nothing. Deeply rooted in the society, they wanted their daughter to not taint their name. The younger brother had no clue, but in a closely knit family, a cousin sister was the partner in crime. She was the secret keeper to this girl who was more than ever in love.

Life isn’t rosy and it was not to be. The boy on a bike with two more friends, wind in their hair and the adrenaline of youth. They were on the way to write an exam, but they forgot life every day is an exam where survival itself is the top reward. A crash or collapse, wreck less or innocent but the fate of that girl altered once and for all. The two friends survived, but the boy did not and he left everything as if it was never his. The news came in phases to this girl who held the hope. She went to the temple and prayed with bleeding heart bowing her temple. But it was over and it was done. She will not see him ever not even once.

The lightening had struck and the darkness had lifted. The parents had come to know of the interest. The best hope is that they wouldn’t be happy, but moreover they weren’t concerned. The cousin cried for her sister, as she was close. She knew the girl will not live no more. It was the end of her dreams and hope; it was never to be as it was.

Went on the life with cries and memories; each day contemplating with pain and misery. Is it the death that’s painful or is it nothing compared to living? She felt it all and dragged herself to the routines and chores with little enthuse. Only the dreams gave some comfort when she was with him, just to make the waking up hurt so much more. The right age arrived and a match was found, for parents can’t have her all her life around. It was for her good and for her best; the most suited, the best fitment. She had no choice, nor heart to choose, for her heart was clueless of what it wants. Yet, it was ok as parents think best and only had her best in their hearts.

Off she go to a new start, everything previous was a thing of past. A homeopathy medic but confined to the house for household chores never leave time. And soon a boy arrived, who will call her the mother in no time. The husband was good and loved too fine but his love for alcohol was no less in time. It grew and grew for abuses grew and at times the slaps threw in. She cried but she was weak for she kept on taking the heat. She would pick him from the floor, or at times from someone else’s floor and once he was even found in the drain. The parents knew but what could they do, for they had chosen the best they could do. The son was walking and calling her ‘mum’ and that one word made everything worth it. The hope rose again and so did the concern for future, not for herself but for her boy.

She gathered her love and showered it all – on her son and the husband alike. Hope creates love and love gives hope for if one isn’t there the other is no more. On that small hinge, hangs the life – the good and worse tipping the balance all the while. The son went to kindergarten on his own feet, the husband loved back with all his might. The drinks and falls seem to reduce, and the work was on to rehab. She took a job with a local firm; and she became a healer in true sense. She is the same as she was then, but the pain does not paralyze as then. What was then was good and lovely, but that was not the only lovely. What you have is what you can nurture, and the same thing is what you can flounder. The wise ones say, ‘Why me’ is never the solution and ‘acceptance’ is always better than premonition. But it’s one thing to say or write and one thing to live it in life. For life is the master teacher and time heals like no other healer! Live it so while it stays then merge with it as the light flicks off.